Midnight Sun – Part 2

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Chapter 5 – The Restless Nomad

We spent the next 2 days on the boat in the middle of the river, completely cut off from civilisation. By the end of the 2nd day, we had turned quite uncivilised ourselves. We did not carry any toothbrush or toothpaste.

We survived on biscuits and bananas that Vikrant had packed in his canvas bag, along with 4 bottles of mineral water.

We did not take a shower. We shared a single bar of soap instead of toilet paper. I was carrying an extra set of clothes, but that was of no use. He didn’t let me wear much clothes either during the day or at night.

Vikrant opened up and revealed more of himself. He was amiable, intelligent and refined. But he was constantly bored and was in perennial need of stimulation.

For example, we never slept beside each other. Instead, we were always on top of each other. Sometimes, he was on top of me. But mostly, I was on top of him, sleeping naked.

Early morning, the sun would rise, and so would his cock. As if they had an agreement between themselves to wake up together. He would then wake me up and point at his erection, asking me to help get rid of it.

I would sleepily hold his hand and place it on my clit. He would rub it till it became moist and wet. Then he would part my legs and gently shove his cock into my pussy. And would take his own sweet time to fuck me.

He would carry on stroking and humping as long as he wanted. Always gently and slowly. And would always cum inside me. Profusely and proudly.

One time, we heard loud grunts of a tiger coming from deep inside the jungle. “It’s the sound of a tiger mating,” he said. I was baffled by his knowledge of the mating rituals of a tiger. But what baffled me more was the instant hard-on he got and the way he ‘mated’ with me immediately afterwards.

He was not much of a boob person. My 34DD boobs did not excite him as much as I thought they would. He would occasionally grope and squeeze them. But did not spend long enough time to show that he adored them.

My lower body excited him the most. He would finger my asshole at every opportunity he got and tried to shove his dick in a couple of times. On both occasions, I deftly diverted his attention to my pussy. I was not ready to have anal sex so early in our relationship.

On our last night together, it rained for a brief while, as it usually does in the Sunderbans. We both got drenched in the absence of proper shelter on the boat. We lay shivering in each other’s arms. I desperately craved a hot cup of tea while he yearned for something else.

“My nuts are freezing,” he said and guided my hand towards them. I played with his balls for some time. I like playing with smooth, round things. Makes me want to cuddle them like teddy bears and soft toys. And that made him hard and horny within seconds.

His cock was not huge, but it got hard very fast. And stayed hard for long. With very little stimulation. Every single time. He loved to fuck in the doggy position. That was his favourite. Maybe because it offered him a lot of room for movement. Or perhaps he wanted to access my ass and pussy at the same time.

He asked me to assume the doggy position. Said he wanted to do it one last time before we returned to civilisation the next day. I obliged and agreed readily. And he mounted me from behind. What followed next was the greatest sex of my life.

He rubbed the tip of his erect cock on the opening of my pussy repeatedly. So many times, I started leaking badly. And I prayed fervently for him to penetrate me. But he had other ideas on his mind. He wanted to play. He wanted to prolong the moment and the memories.

He intended to extend my torture. Rubbing and poking with his dick forever, but not pushing it in.

“Enough of your games. Not anymore,” I yelled in desperation. “I can’t stand on my arms and legs all night. Do something.”

“I want this,” he chuckled and touched my asshole with his finger.

I had a nagging suspicion of his ulterior motive. He had been trying to get inside my ass on some pretext or the other since day 1. And especially in the past 2 days. Why he was so obsessed with that tiny puckered hole was beyond my understanding. But I was in no mood to give in.

“Use this,” I reached behind and grabbed his finger and gently pushed it into the opening of my asshole. Then I grasped his cock and said, “This stays where it is.”

He got my message loud and clear. Pushed the tip of his cock gently into my cunt. And inserted the tip of his finger in my asshole at the same time. He then began to plunge both together.

The feeling was incredible. It can only be experienced and not described. Both his cock and finger entered and exited simultaneously. Stretching my 2 tight holes beyond my wildest imagination.

I bucked. I writhed. I wiggled my hips and pushed them high. I made all sorts of noises my throat had never made before. My tits swayed back and forth with each thrust of his. Tears of pleasure rolled down my eyes, and streams of moisture dribbled down my thighs.

It was excruciating. It was overwhelming. The ecstasy, the intensity, the euphoria of it all. I groaned and moaned and collapsed on the bed as my arms gave way. But my butt stayed up, as did Vikrant’s relentless assault.

I have no memory of the number of orgasms I had that night. Could be 2, could be 10. I have no memory of when he finally discharged his cum deep inside me. I had lost total awareness of time and place by then. I felt high, intoxicated and feverish.

When I finally regained composure after it was over, I realised I was lying in a pool of cum – mine and his. Tired, he dozed off to sleep. And I hugged him tight and whispered in his ear.

“Keep loving me like this. Keep doing what you like. My desire is so deep that I can throw my life away for you. Just don’t go back to your previous self. Stay like this forever.”

Chapter 6 – The Philanderer

We returned to rejoin our respective groups by the afternoon of the 3rd day. It was the 5th day overall of my Sunderban adventure. There was a lot of buzz and curious eyes once Vikrant and I walked in. Pallavi came running and hugged me, only to step back a couple of seconds later.

“I was so worried about you,” she blurted out. “My god! You smell awful. You stink!”

“I haven’t brushed my teeth and showered in 2 days,” I replied apologetically. “Besides, the stink is due to his … um … his … you know …”

“Oh god! I don’t want to know,” Pallavi rolled her eyes. “The 1st thing you need to do is to take a shower. And then you should talk to Tanya. She has been looking for you.”

“Who is Tanya?” I was curious.

“One of his girlfriends,” she replied. “The leader of the gang of 5.”

I took a long hot shower and had a nice warm meal. As I was leaving the cafeteria, a girl walked up to me. She was one of the girls in Vikrant’s group and introduced herself as Tanya.

“I heard you wanted to have a word with me,” I said.

“Yes,” she replied. “What are you up to? I hope you know what you are doing.”

“Excuse me? What are you talking about?” I frowned.

“You know what I am talking about. Vikrant is like a restless kid. You can catch his attention for a while, but he will soon find another girl that catches his fancy. He is great to flirt with but unfit to settle down with. I hope you know that.”

“I think you are jealous,” I shot back. “Besides, it’s none of your business.”

“Jealous? Of whom? You?” she scoffed. “I have no expectations from Vic. He is a nice guy but incapable of loving anyone. I am not in love with him. You shouldn’t be either.”

Tanya now had my full attention. I listened quietly as she continued with her speech.

“You and Vic are both lonely. You believe you are each other’s cure for loneliness,” she continued. “You are both clinging to each other in the hope of finding love. But the cure for loneliness does not lie in a relationship with another lonely soul. The cure is to come to terms with your loneliness and accept it as a part of your life.”

“So, you have come to warn me?” I asked meekly.

“Yes, Shilpi,” she replied. “I don’t know you, but I know him. He is forever lonely, always alone. He is nomadic in his thoughts and actions. He is so insecure that he can never settle down with anyone or anywhere. He will continue to find some escape from his misery by indulging in self-destructive relationships. Do you think he will make you go crazy in love? Crack you out of your shell? Make you stronger? No. He doesn’t want love. He wants a love-experience.”

Tanya truly surprised me. She was no dumb bimbo as I had thought earlier. She was clear, level-headed and far more mature than I was. She made me question my decisions.

“Loneliness sucks,” she told me before leaving. “But you can overcome it by embracing it. Else, both you and Vic will go down a rabbit hole of pain and suffering. He doesn’t deserve it, nor do you.”

Her words kept echoing in my ears long after she was gone. Was I really throwing my life away for a dream? Was I about to go down a rabbit hole of chaos and disorder? I was confused but decided to keep my meeting with Tanya a secret from Vikrant.

Our group returned to Delhi from Sunderbans the next day. I had to return with them too. I bid a tearful goodbye to Vikrant before leaving. He promised to come to Delhi to meet me.

A couple of weeks later, he informed me of his plans to visit Delhi. He arrived the next day. He checked into a hotel downtown and asked me to come over. I went running and knocked on his door.

It was Valentine’s Day. I wore my prettiest dress and carried the loveliest bunch of flowers I could lay my hands on. I expected a similar bouquet in return. Instead, I found him in his shorts, sitting in a barren hotel room with no flowers or Valentine’s gift in sight.

Crestfallen, I handed over the flowers to him and wished him a happy Valentine’s. He wished me back but made no mention of gifts or flowers. Instead, he pointed at his cock, which was now visibly half-erect under his shorts. And dangled it like a cricket bat in front of me.

“He has missed you terribly,” he signalled at his erection. “He is very happy to see you again.”

“Happy to see you too,” I grabbed his cock over his shorts and addressed it directly. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

He didn’t waste time in conversation. Didn’t bother to find out how I was or inform me where he had been the last 2 weeks. Instead, he picked me up in his arms and sat down in the middle of the bed, making me lie down on his lap face up.

“Can we talk for some time?” I asked. “I have so much to tell.”

“Later,” he dismissed my plea without much of a thought. And stared at me lying on his lap. His hand slowly lifted the hem of my dress. His fingers impatiently touched my panties and moved up and down the length of my slit.

“What are you up to?” I asked in mock curiosity.

“Just checking if everything is in order or not.”

“Everything is fine. But it seems you are not,” I said.

“How so?” he inquired without pausing his hand movements between my legs.

“You are like a naughty kid,” I responded. “Always restless, always up to mischief. Trying to find a way to get your hands on forbidden things.”

“This is not forbidden,” he slipped his finger inside my panty and started rubbing my clit. “This is exactly what I intend to do for the rest of my life.”

His finger circled my clit. Flicked it and toyed with it. The pleasure of his rubbing was so intense that my whole body buzzed with delight. At the same time, I felt his cock quickly growing and throbbing and poking me on my back.

His finger then moved down to my pussy, rubbing the soft wet lips and sliding in slowly. It moved back and forth, sideways and in circles, exploring the lumpy softness inside. I felt so warm and wet that I couldn’t speak. He sensed it, pulled my panties below my hips, and rolled it down to my ankles.

He shifted me from his lap to the bed and removed his shorts. His erect cock twitched in anticipation as he positioned himself on top of me. He guided it between my quivering legs and pushed it in.

He shoved his cock deeper and deeper inside my little hole and started thrusting in and out. He breathed heavily on my neck and face. I gasped and moaned, getting wetter with each passing second. I lifted my legs and spread them as wide as I could. He drove his rigid, thick rod deep inside me.

I had an early and intense orgasm. My cum began to squish out of my pussy. And he began to thrust harder and faster. His dick swelled up against my tight inner walls, and he shot his warm fresh cum with a powerful and profuse discharge.

We lay on the bed for some time, covered in sweat from head to toe. It was not the best sex we ever had, but it certainly made me feel happy and satisfied. The only drawback was the lack of communication from his side, his inability to talk about his feelings or allow me to express mine.

I went to the bathroom to freshen up and received a jolt. I discovered something unexpected. There were 2 used condoms and a couple of torn condom wrappers inside the trash bin in the bathroom. I went numb in dismay for a few moments. And then I mustered up the courage to confront him.

“Are these yours?” I brought the trash can out of the loo to show him its contents.

He looked startled and spooked. Not the reactions I would have preferred. His eyes betrayed his innocent smile like that of a guilty kid caught stealing from the cookie jar. But he quickly regained composure and feigned ignorance.

“Nope. Not mine,” he replied, evading eye contact.

“Whose are these then? How did they turn up here?” I felt a deep sense of disgust and loathing, overcoming my senses.

“No idea. It could have been left behind by the previous guest. This is a hotel room, after all,” he replied with a straight face.

I did not raise questions after that. I found his explanation hard to believe. A part of me wanted to trust his words. The other part felt repulsed by the suspicion that he was lying. I was in a dilemma. I felt sick, appalled and outraged.

I made up an excuse to leave early. On my way out of the hotel, I decided to check at the Front Desk and find some answers. I could feel the ground slipping under my feet when they told me that Vikrant had checked in a day earlier. But they refused to confirm if he had any visitors.

Throughout my commute back to my home, Tanya’s words kept echoing in my ears. Vikrant was insecure and unstable for a committed relationship, she had said. Was I now in the rabbit hole she had warned me about? I clutched my head in frustration.

You think when you reach a certain age, things will start making sense. Then you find out you are just as lost as you were before. When do you stop making mistakes in life? At what age do you finally take control?

Chapter 7 – The Repentant Partner

I met Vikrant twice after that day. Only twice. Both times were in a hotel room. He arrived in Delhi to meet me and checked into a hotel. And I went like a dutiful girlfriend, uncertain of what I would discover next.

The 1st meeting took place a month after Valentine’s Day. This time, I found all the trash bins in the room and the toilet empty. That should have reassured me, except it didn’t. And then I found something in his luggage I had never seen before.

I detested the idea of going through his stuff behind his back. I never enjoyed doing it. But suspicion is a bitch. It makes you do terrible things once it enters your mind.

The moment he entered the bathroom to take a shower, I started going through the trash cans. Empty. Wardrobe drawers empty. Cabinet drawers, empty. His suitcase was full of clothes and toiletries. But it was in his camera bag that I discovered a new thing.

Inside the camera bag were his Nikon and Ricoh cameras, along with telescopic lenses. Hidden inside a side pocket was a tiny digital camera.

Now, Vikrant never used a digital camera. He was a professional photographer and too much of a perfectionist. He never used his phone to take pics either. The pro-DSLR cameras of Nikon and Ricoh were his only choices.

Curious and suspicious, I picked up the digital camera and checked its memory. And stood stunned in shock and disbelief. There were dozens of photos of Vikrant with another woman. Some were pics of them in different stages of undress. The time stamp on each pic showed that these were taken recently.

I got infuriated this time. I was in no mood to relent and ignore. As soon as he came out of the bathroom, I confronted him with those pics. And demanded an explanation.

“I am sorry,” he replied sheepishly instead of accusing me of invading his privacy. “It was a mistake.”

“A mistake?” I screamed in rage. “There are at least 20 different time stamps of 20 different dates. How can it be a mistake when it has been repeated 20 times?”

“I guess I never stopped loving women,” he said in his defence. “But the way I loved them changed. You remain my Midnight Sun. These are just fireflies.”

“You live in a little fantasy world, don’t you?” I sneered. “It’s so much more fun. Changes every day. Fireflies everywhere. Fantasies are nice, but you can’t live in them. Not with me.”

“I treat this world as it deserves,” were his final words. “There are no principles. Just circumstances.”

“Not me. I was raised differently,” I replied with scorn. “Principles and ethics still matter to me. And I will not accept this.”

I stormed out of his hotel in a daze of fury and agony. Our next meeting was a couple of months later. This time, I had only one agenda: to break up with him. But before doing that, I decided to visit Mrs. Krishnamurthy.

Mrs. Krishnamurthy was a professor of philosophy at my college. She treated me with affection and love even though I wasn’t her student. I told her about Tanya’s warning, Vikrant’s transgressions and our relationship. She gave me some advice which I am never going to forget.

“Loneliness is not a disease,” she said. “You don’t need to find a cure. Accept it as a part of life. Some so many people are blind, wheelchair-bound, or have other disabilities. They are not looking for a cure. They have embraced their condition as a reality. You and Vikrant became emotionally dependent on each other and assumed it to be love. But clinging to one another is never going to work. Embrace your loneliness, both of you. You cannot have a committed relationship if you are emotionally insecure.”

“I can’t accept cheating,” I told her with tears in my eyes. “What does loneliness have to do with cheating?”

“Loneliness is the cause,” she replied, “and cheating and feeling cheated are the effects. He is emotionally unstable and seeks thrills elsewhere. While you desperately latched onto him and turned a blind eye to his true nature. Each one of us is lonely to an extent – me and you. But the ones who accept it as a part of life do not make mistakes.”

I broke up with Vikrant shortly after that. I embraced my loneliness as something that will stay with me forever. I had no idea what Vikrant did after our relationship ended. We stopped all communication and drifted apart.

I bumped into him last week purely by chance after 5 long years. He looked older and tired. He said he is still travelling across the world as a wanderer. And he sounded repentant for the very 1st time.

“I was young and afraid then,” he spoke softly. “Afraid of who would pay for my mistakes. I am sorry you had to pay for them as well.”

“You were sincere in the promises you made to me. But they didn’t come from your heart,” I replied.

“I was a sleepwalker then. I was in love with the world. I was in love with love,” he said. “The world absorbed me. I regret that it turned out the way it did.”

“What will you do now?” I asked. “That which is broken cannot be fixed.”

“I am trying to redeem my life. Justify it. All these years, I have been living the life of someone I don’t even recognise anymore. Losing you is the biggest regret of my life,” he replied in a broken voice.

“We never had any future,” I told him. “But I still don’t consider our relationship to be a mistake.”

“Neither do I,” he smiled hesitantly. “Just because I stumbled down the road like a drunk doesn’t mean it was the wrong one.”

I watched him leave and disappear into the crowd. For the brief period that we were together, he gave me peace and joy. All else is cloud. I will remember him always.

We are like clouds, coming and going. There is no such thing as forever. I don’t feel guilty about having fallen in love with him in the past. Love is so rare that when you find it, you can’t doubt it.

(Concluded).

Author’s Note: I would like to offer my gratitude to all my readers and the XIS team for honouring me with the Writer Of The Year Award. I am overwhelmed and humbled by your love and affection. You have given me a reason to keep writing. This story is dedicated to you all and to the scourge of loneliness that affects urban India today.